What I Thought Group Therapy Was vs What It Really Is

Before becoming a mental health therapist, I pictured group therapy as an empty indoor basketball court with plastic chairs on metal legs lined up in a circle, squeaking every time someone shifted in their seat and echoing off the hardwood floor and concrete walls.

We’re all staring at each other in silence, desperately hoping we won’t have to talk.

I think most of us can relate to the nerves that come with walking into a group of people we don’t know. Group therapy can feel especially intimidating if you’re used to handling things on your own, struggle with social anxiety, are introverted, or simply aren’t thrilled by the idea of being vulnerable in front of strangers.

But the reality of a good therapy group is much less intimidating than I ever imagined.

Now, as a clinician, I believe group therapy can change the world. A dramatic claim? Maybe. But also maybe…not.

At a time when so many of us feel disconnected, lonely, or misunderstood, creating spaces for genuine human connection might be one of the prescriptions we need most.

Individual therapy can be incredibly powerful. But there’s something uniquely meaningful about sitting with people who get it. Being witnessed, understood, and supported by people who have felt some version of what you’re feeling can offer something even the best individual therapist can't completely recreate.

So, let’s talk about some of the myths I thought group therapy would be—and what it can actually look like.

Myth #1: Being Vulnerable Is Required

One of the biggest stressors I hear about from clients considering group therapy is the fear of opening up to strangers. Which is valid! We normally don’t go around in everyday life spilling our deepest thoughts and feelings all over grocery store aisles. 

You might assume that vulnerability is required in group therapy, but it’s actually not. Good group facilitators invite participation rather than demand vulnerability. You get to decide what you share, when you share it, and how deeply you want to go.

That doesn't mean staying completely silent forever will necessarily give you the full benefit of group therapy. Engaging in discussion, allowing yourself to be known, and trying something uncomfortable can all be part of the work. Just because something feels uncomfortable doesn't necessarily mean something is wrong. After all, very little becomes more comfortable by avoiding it forever.

I encourage my clients to experiment with stepping outside their comfort zones because that’s often where change happens. But there’s a difference between gently challenging yourself and being forced to disclose something before you’re ready.

And something interesting often happens over time: people who were terrified to speak during the first session start wanting to share. Trust develops. Someone says something that feels incredibly familiar. You realize you're not being judged. You start learning everyone's names and stories.

Listening and witnessing can do that to a person. They're meaningful forms of participation, too.

Myth #2: Everyone Will Be Watching and Judging Me

Walking into a group can feel like walking into a room with a giant spotlight pointed directly at you.

What if I say something stupid? What if I talk too much? What if I don't talk enough? What if everyone thinks I'm weird?

Meanwhile, everyone else is probably having some version of the exact same internal monologue.

Most people enter a new group thinking far more about how they're being perceived than they are about evaluating everyone else. They're wondering whether they're talking too much, whether what they said made sense, what they're supposed to say next, or quietly praying the facilitator doesn't call on them yet.

There's something strangely relieving about realizing you're not uniquely awkward.

Therapy groups also typically establish expectations around confidentiality, respect, boundaries, and how members interact with one another. Part of the facilitator's job is creating and maintaining a space where people can show up imperfectly without being picked apart for it.

And if your brain still tells you everyone noticed that slightly weird thing you said 20 minutes ago?

Chances are, they didn't.

They're thinking about the slightly weird thing they said.

Myth #3: We’ll Just Sit Around Taking Turns Talking About Our Problems

There are many different kinds of groups, and what happens during a session depends on the type. Some are more discussion-based, while others are highly structured. A group might include check-ins, psychoeducation, reflection prompts, skills practice, experiential activities, conversations between members, or time to process whatever comes up that day.

A grief group will probably look different from a DBT skills group. A trauma-focused group will look different from an interpersonal process group. A support group isn't necessarily the same thing as a therapy group, either.

And the facilitator isn't just sitting in the corner watching everyone fend for themselves.

Part of our job is paying attention to what's happening in the room: making space for different voices, noticing themes, asking questions, slowing things down when needed, helping members connect with each other, and keeping the group moving toward its purpose.

So no, you aren't necessarily signing up for six weeks of going around the circle answering, "And how does that make you feel?"

(Thank goodness).

Myth #4: Hearing Everyone Else’s Problems Will Make Me Feel Worse

I understand this concern. If you're already carrying a lot, the idea of adding seven strangers' problems to the pile doesn't exactly sound therapeutic.

But this is where group therapy can offer something individual therapy can't fully replicate.

Sometimes someone starts talking, and you have the almost eerie experience of thinking…Wait, you do that too? Or I've never heard anyone else say that out loud.

Grief, trauma, family estrangement, recovery, anxiety, shame, caregiving, identity struggles - these experiences can become incredibly isolating. You can start believing you're the only person reacting this way or that nobody could possibly understand the complicated mix of emotions you're carrying.

Then another person describes something you've felt but haven't been able to put into words.

There's enormous power in that too.

Not because everyone's experiences are identical. They won't be. But because you no longer have to explain every piece of the experience before someone understands why it hurts.

Sometimes another group member can give language to something you've been trying to articulate for years.

And sometimes simply looking around the room and realizing, “Oh. I'm really not the only one,” is therapeutic all by itself.

Myth #5: It Will Always Feel Like a Room Full of Strangers

At first, it probably will. I mean…we are strangers!

But over time, that starts to change as the group progresses and the group dynamic emerges. 

Therapists sometimes call this group cohesion, which is essentially the sense of connection, trust, and belonging that develops between members of a group.

You learn people's names. You remember what someone shared last week. Someone walks in, and another member asks, "How did that conversation with your mom go?" or "How was the anniversary you were worried about?"

There’s something powerful about being remembered.

And that connection isn't just a nice bonus. It can become part of the therapy itself.

Within a group, you get opportunities to practice things that can be difficult to recreate in individual therapy. You might practice taking up space when your instinct is to disappear or asking for support instead of handling everything yourself. Setting a boundary. Disagreeing with someone and discovering that the relationship survives. Receiving care without immediately trying to repay it.

You also get to notice what happens inside you when you're in relationship with other people.

Do you automatically become the caretaker? Stay quiet until everyone else has spoken? Apologize before sharing an opinion? Assume someone is upset with you? Make a joke the second something gets emotional?

Those patterns can be difficult to see when we're talking about relationships.

Group therapy gives us a chance to notice some of them while relationships are actually happening.

Myth #6: If I’m Quiet, I’m Doing Group Therapy Wrong

Some people process by talking. Others need approximately three to five business days to figure out how they feel about something.

Both people come to group therapy.

Being quiet doesn't automatically mean you're disengaged. You may be listening closely, thinking, observing, or simply figuring out whether this group feels trustworthy enough to participate in yet.

At the same time, if your instinct is always to disappear into the background, group therapy can offer a really interesting place to experiment with doing something different.

Maybe participating means sharing one thought instead of five. Maybe it's telling the group, "I want to say something, but I'm nervous." Maybe it's allowing someone to ask you a follow-up question instead of immediately redirecting the conversation away from yourself.

The goal isn't maximum disclosure. It's meaningful engagement.

And what that looks like for you during week one might be very different from what it looks like during week eight.

So...Is Group Therapy Awkward?

Sometimes, yes.

But also, I’m awkward by myself sometimes, so I'm not sure that's a group-specific problem, ha!

The first meeting can feel weird. There might be silence. You might have no idea what you're supposed to say. Someone might cry. Someone else might make a joke at exactly the wrong moment. You might unexpectedly tell a group of people something you've barely admitted to yourself.

And then something truly wild happens…everyone comes back the next week.

Group therapy doesn't work because nobody ever feels awkward. Part of what makes it meaningful is discovering that you can feel awkward, nervous, emotional, uncertain, or completely unsure of what to say, and still belong in the room.

Eventually, the chairs are just chairs.

What Should I Look for in a Therapy Group?

Not every group is going to be the right group for every person, and that's okay. Before joining, you should have a reasonably clear idea of what you're signing up for.

Look for information about the group's purpose, who it's designed for, who facilitates it, how confidentiality is handled, what participation looks like, and expectations around attendance. Depending on the type of group, the facilitator may also meet with you individually beforehand to make sure the group is an appropriate fit.

You can ask questions before committing, too. 

You can ask whether you'll be expected to talk, how many people usually attend, whether the group is open or closed to new members, what happens if you miss a session, and whether you can participate in individual therapy at the same time.

You deserve to know what you're walking into.

Questions People Have Before Starting Group Therapy

Do I have to talk in group therapy?

Usually, you won't be forced to share something you don't want to share. Expectations vary by group, though, so it's worth asking the facilitator beforehand. Participation can take different forms, especially when you're new and still getting comfortable.

What if I cry?

Then you cry. You will almost certainly not be the first person who has cried in that group, and you will definitely not be the first person who has cried in front of a therapist. You don't ever have to apologize for having an emotional response.

What if I don't like someone in the group?

You might not! Group therapy doesn't require everyone to become best friends. In fact, navigating differences, irritation, misunderstandings, and conflict can sometimes become meaningful therapeutic work, as long as the group is being facilitated appropriately and everyone is treated respectfully.

Is group therapy confidential?

Therapists are bound by professional and legal confidentiality requirements, but confidentiality in a group is more complicated because other members aren't your therapist. Groups should establish clear expectations that members don't share what they hear outside the group, but a therapist cannot guarantee another person's behavior.

This is something a facilitator should discuss with you before or at the beginning of the group.

Can I do group therapy and individual therapy at the same time?

Absolutely. Many people do both. They can actually complement each other nicely because they offer different experiences. 

Individual therapy gives you a dedicated one-on-one space with your therapist, while group therapy lets you explore connection, relationships, shared experiences, and support with other people.

What if I have social anxiety?

Having social anxiety doesn't automatically mean group therapy isn't for you.

In fact, depending on the group and your individual needs, it may offer opportunities to practice being around people, speaking up, tolerating discomfort, and discovering that other people aren't evaluating you nearly as closely as anxiety tells you they are.

That doesn't mean throwing yourself into the deep end. Talk with the facilitator about your concerns beforehand and ask what participation typically looks like.

How many people are usually in a therapy group?

It depends on the group. Some groups are intentionally small and intimate, while others can accommodate more members. Ask the facilitator how many people they expect so you know what kind of environment you're walking into.

Does online group therapy actually work?

Online groups can still offer meaningful connection and support. They can also make group therapy more accessible if transportation, location, disability, scheduling, or simply leaving your house at the end of a long day would otherwise make attending difficult.

How do I know if group therapy is right for me?

You don't necessarily know until you try it.

Consider what you're hoping to get from therapy and whether connecting with people who share similar experiences could be helpful. You can also talk with the group facilitator or your individual therapist about whether a particular group seems like a good fit.

And remember: deciding that one particular group isn't for you doesn't mean group therapy isn't for you.

Sometimes it's just the wrong group.

You Don't Have to Be a "Group Person"

You don't have to be extroverted. You don't have to love meeting new people. You don't have to walk into the first session excited to tell strangers about your childhood.

In fact, I think group therapy can be especially meaningful for people who have gotten very good at handling difficult things alone. Because eventually, you get to experience something different.

Someone remembers what you said last week. Someone nods because they understand. Someone puts words to the thing you thought only you experienced. You say something vulnerable and discover that the room doesn't collapse around you.

Maybe you even become the person who looks across the room at someone who's terrified to speak and gives them the I get it nod.

You don't have to walk into group therapy already feeling comfortable.

You just need enough safety, structure, and trust to give comfort - and connection - a chance to grow.

Group Therapy in Denver, Colorado

Here at Centerpoint Healing, we regularly offer a variety of in-person and online therapy groups and workshops. Visit our Groups & Workshops page to see what’s coming up. Have a question or want to learn more? Send us a note - we’d be happy to connect.